A Night in The Woods (2011)(Review)[Weirdo Wednesday]

Following in the footsteps of found-footage films that take place in the woods, director/writer Richard Parry presents an exercise in tension and dread. This is a film that I had never heard of before, but when I found the blu-ray for sale at my local “used family video store,” I was very excited. The Blair Witch Project is one of my all-time favorite horror movies, so I was happy to see another film using a similar formula. I wasn’t expecting anything breakthrough, but figured it’d make for a fun late-night viewing.

A Night in the Woods introduces us to three (and only three) characters. Kerry is a woman who can’t quite cope with the loss of her father. Her boyfriend Brody suggests that to help, they should go for a camping trip into the woods that her father used to love going to. At the same time, Kerry believes it’d be a great idea to bring her friend Leo with them. Kerry describes Leo as being her cousin, while in actuality he is one of her ex-lovers (the guy who took her virginity, to be precise). For the duration of the film, Brody doesn’t truly believe the idea that they are cousins, especially with how playful and giddy they both are with each other. This creates a great deal of tension amongst the trio.

About halfway through the film, Brody gets upset with the isolation the 2 seem to be throwing his way, and he decides to storm off into the dark woods, leaving his camera that he insists on never shutting off, to film the two back at the campsite. Naturally, after he has been gone for about 10 minutes, Kerry and Leo hook up. During this, Leo bites Kerry’s lip and a fight ensues.

This is the entire story. Seriously. There is a mention for 4 sentences about a killer that lurks in the woods and marks his victims before he kills them. This attempts to add a supernatural essence to this film, especially because in one scene Kerry falls asleep and wakes up to an upside down cross on her forehead. The remainder of the film is Kerry wandering around the dark looking for the men. When she finds Brody, he is screaming and then attacks her. Likewise, finding Leo leads to the exact same scenario. This film repeats this same dark wandering principle for almost an entire hour out of its 1 hour 22 min duration, until the conclusion where *SPOILERS* they all die.

This movie was horrible. Not even horrible in a campy or “not done well” fashion, it literally lacks any substance to make it entertaining or mentionable. I cannot recall another time when I was this upset after watching a film, and not even due to the content of what I’ve seen. I was upset because of the time and money I lost to this film. I’d rather not waste more time discussing this film and its contents, but I almost feel like it’s my duty to warn people about this one.

In Conclusion: This movie is horrible. The three actors are horrible, the story is predictable, and the found-footage fraction just adds to the realization that there’s nothing happening in this film.

For the first time in my personal history, I'm giving a film a solid 0/5

Till next time,

Mike Cleopatra

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