Today, I want to talk about or warn people of the terribleness of Jack Frost. No, this isn't the movie with Michael Keaton where a man dies, finds himself reborn as a snowman so he can spend one last holiday with his family. No this is the movie where a man dies and is transformed into a killer snowman. Before watching this movie, just check your brain cells at the door. Any brain cells you bring with will die a horrible death. You will hear them scream tiny screams as they die.
Between the corny one liners, the cheesy acting, and just plain out ridiculousness, there is not one good thing to say about this movie. Actually I take that back, there is one good thing. Shannon Elizabeth. She has a tantalizing bath scene in the movie, accompanied by what sounds like porno music, you don't see any naughty bits, but still is good to look at. That is before Jack Frost joins her, and literally merges with her, and proceeds to thrust her repeatedly into the wall. Now I should mention that when he became the killer snowman, he looks like your typical snowman, with the eyes of coal, the carrot nose, and even a scarf. So during the scene with Shannon Elizabeth, you will notice his carrot nose is oddly missing. As you watch the scene unfold, a terrible idea starts to form in your head. No, you think to yourself, he surely cant be doing what I think he is doing. I am here to tell you, yes that is exactly what he is doing. As Shannon Elizabeth's lifeless body falls to the floor, he had the audacity to tell us looks like Christmas came early to hone the point in even further.
This movie is so terrible I don't even care about spoiling it. So you want to know his weakness? They certainly try everything from blow dryers and even a furnace. But due to some science mumbo jumbo which caused him to become a snowman in the first place, he can just keep regenerating himself. Anyway, they finally find out his weakness is...get this.. antifreeze. Wanna know how they come to this conclusion? So there is this kid who is making special oats...like he expects people to eat this stuff. Turns out the reason they are so special is because he mixed antifreeze in. Yeah seriously. So Jack Frost is accidentally coated in the special oats, and that is how they find out how to "kill" him.
I can't make this stuff up people. And they even made a sequel to this schlock featuring Jack Frost's babies...it is pretty much trying to cash in on the popularity of movies like Gremlins and Critters, and it failed so much at that.
So if you want a good laugh, or want to way to kill your brain cells, then yeah go ahead and watch this. Just don't say I didn't warn you.
Till next time, stay scared!! -Tha Thrilla-